Week of 05/04: Lessons from Junior Year
What I’ve Been Up To:
Lots of fun memories, goodbyes, and lasts this week. I moved out yesterday, spent the night in Knoxville, and am writing this from the road on the way to Georgia to watch my brother’s baseball tournament (today is his 14th birthday!!) This week was a whirlwind - here are some of the highlights:
On Monday, Nate taught me his family’s secret Oreo ball recipe during our last hangout before he graduates. Nate is famous around USC for his Oreo balls - he makes them with love and shares them far and wide. It was an honor for him to pass the torch along to me so I can keep the tradition alive at USC.
For the past month, I’ve been doing something called Macaroni Monday where I eat a box of macaroni for dinner every Monday. My roommates got in on it too, and for our last Macaroni Monday we each made our pasta and then ate it while watching a video of professional chefs tasting and reviewing every brand of boxed macaroni. It was a great way to go out and I can’t wait to bring Macaroni Monday back next semester.
Flick on the Field was this week and they showed the new Captain America movie on the football field. The weather was lovely and it was so nice to lay out on the field and decompress before finals.
On Tuesday, I went to an Indian restaurant with my friend Tessa as our last hurrah before she graduates. The food was SO GOOD and I loved getting to reminisce with Tessa before she moves on to bigger and better things.
After dinner on Tuesday, I hopped in the car with the girls and we drove down to Charleston for a mini getaway. Luckily, none of us had finals on Wednesday so we were able to pull it off.
We got to see the beach, walk around downtown Charleston, shop around, have lunch, and made it back to Columbia in time to study for our exams the next day.
Ali and I had our last night at CWP and it was so bittersweet but a great night to go out on. We soaked everything in and felt grateful for all the fun memories we’ve made there. Fingers crossed that something will change and we can dance again in the fall!
Friday was my last night in the apartment - another bittersweet night, but we did it up with homemade pizzas, a Sonic sweet treat run, and a couple episodes of Black Mirror. I can’t say enough good things about my roommates and about how wonderful it was to live with them this year.
Yesterday, I got all of my stuff packed and moved back to Knoxville with the help of my mom. I can’t believe that junior year is over, but I’m excited for what this summer has in store. If you can’t find me, assume I’m dancing at the Cotton Eyed Joe.
What I’m Reading:
Life Undercover: Coming of Age in the CIA - Amaryllis Fox
What I’m Watching:
Black Mirror
Captain America: Brave New World
What I’m Listening to:
“Change Your Body and Your Life in 1 Month: 4 Small Habits That Actually Work” - The Mel Robbins Podcast (this is the best podcast episode I’ve ever listened to on the topic of health. HIGHLY recommend)
“It’s Not You: The Real Reason Adult Friendship Is So Hard and 3 Ways to Make It Easier” - The Mel Robbins Podcast
Song of the Week:
“Bad Dreams” - Teddy Swims
Lessons from Junior Year
3 years ago, on the night before I moved out of my freshman dorm, I sat on the top level of library for six hours and wrote out every lesson I learned from my first year of college before security kicked me out at 2am. I felt so passionate about all the ways that I had grown as a freshman, and could point to so many concrete moments where I learned something meaningful. I didn’t want to forget those lessons or the moments that made them possible, so I documented each of them, and the result was an 18 page manifesto on what the year taught me.
I’ve continued to do this every year since, and I’ve found that each year presents its own unique set of challenges and opportunities to grow. I wrote my junior year manifesto earlier this week when I should have been studying for finals (they all went well, don’t worry). While it isn’t the 18 page monster that I wrote freshman year, I still have 12 pages of solid takeaways from this year, and I want to share three of them with you that I feel encapsulate what this year was to me.
1. It’s not that deep
This is the biggest takeaway from my junior year, and it shaped many of the smaller, situational lessons I learned this year.
When I compare my experience freshman year with my experience this year, the most glaring difference is how big and consequential everything seemed as a freshman versus now. Going to class, making friends, attending club meetings, and going to the dining hall all seemed monumental and of huge consequence to my life. Now they just don’t. The same things that upturned my life as a freshman are now things that I barely think twice about. Maybe it’s because first experiences carry the mystery and excitement of the unknown, which gets diluted over time while we quietly build up confidence and expertise.
Overall I’ve learned that the events of our lives are like waves in the ocean - they rise up, demand our attention for a time, then fall and even back out - inconsequential in the vast body of water. There’s a bittersweetness to knowing this. As a freshman, everything was more stressful and scary, yes, but it was also more magical and memorable. I lived on the cusp of tangible wonder and despair everyday, and I’ll never forget that experience, though I don’t know if I’d wish to go back.
As a junior, I spent most of my days in a state of steady contentedness. My routines have been developed and fine-tuned, and I’m no longer clawing upward trying to build a stable life and identity for myself. There is very little that can shake my calm because I know that at the end of the day, nothing is really that deep.
2. Perfectionism is a handicap
I’ve been a perfectionist for the majority of my life. Growing up, every detail of every project had to be just right, every word in a speech timed and uttered perfectly, no note on the piano ever missed. I had crippling performance anxiety and a deep-seated fear of failure and criticism. Over the course of my college career, these layers of perfectionism have been progressively stripped back, and this year I think I finally learned the lesson once and for all.
On the radio, I stopped writing out scripts for my talking segments and found that it was much more natural, meaningful, and fun when I just freeballed it. In my newsletter, I didn’t agonize about having the perfect topic, I just wrote what was on my heart and the reception has been really positive. I’ve approached most aspects of my life casually this year and achieved the same level of success, if not more, than I had in the past. I’ve learned that perfectionism is no way to live - it cripples creative expression and turns work into agony. It reduces efficiency and takes attention off of what truly matters; sacrifices the full picture for a tiny detail.
I also realized that when I was operating out of perfectionism, I was using it to mask low self-confidence. In areas of my life where I felt less adequate, I obsessed over trying to be perfect more than I focused on the actual task at hand, which ultimately backfired and crippled my performance. As I’ve become more confident in my knowledge and abilities, I’m more comfortable with being spontaneous, having fun with what I do, and getting things wrong sometimes. The result is a version of myself that is wayyy more laid back, content, and clear-eyed.
3. Mental discipline is the cornerstone of physical success
I trained my mind a TON over the course of this year, and a lot of it was unintentional but I still saw the effects. While training for my triathlon and half-marathon, I practiced denying my mind’s wants and impulses in order to stick to my training schedule and get the most out of each session. Over time, I built up fortification against the doubtful, criticizing, and quick-to-give-up parts of my mind until I could block them out completely.
The fortification didn’t just hold in exercise settings, it also held in other moments that required discipline such as showing up for others when I didn’t necessarily feel like it or locking in for multi-hour study sessions. The mental discipline paid dividends in every area of my life, and the most outward example was my performance in the half marathon. I never could have completed something like that without first learning how to coach myself through extended periods of hardship. I’ve ultimately learned that we can fast and deny ourselves in times of plenty so that we can stand strong in times of challenge and disparity.
Bonus Lessons:
You impact people the most in the routine subtleties of life
Sometimes your mind needs a bit of time to adjust to a change that you’re afraid of, but you’ll be ready when it comes
Trader Joe’s is the best grocery store
Accolades mean next to nothing, and you should never make them the object of your pursuits
Loving people will inevitably be painful, your choice is to treat it as a burden or accept it as a free choice
Walk everywhere
And there you have it. Just a handful of the many lessons that this year taught me, all of which I am so grateful for. I’d have to say that this was my favorite year of college yet, and I can’t wait to see what senior year has in store.
Another great letter! Even though I am 82 years old, I learn something every week from you.
I know you don't want or need accolades, Genevieve, but you are an amazing young lady! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading everything you have had to say! You truly amaze me!